[我翻得要死~哈~這次我知道難度有一點高~所以有幫你們翻譯啦!]
我覺得這文說得還真對！ 有些男生沒法交往得長久～大多都是因為沒有五項全中～
Five Traits a Guy Should Have Before You Get Serious
在妳認真投入感情之前, 男友應該擁有的五個特性.
Wondering about the qualities that really matter in a boyfriend when you're thinking long-term love? These five characteristics are the ones you should be looking for.
當妳打算要談一段長久的戀情時, 男友的哪些條件是最值得考慮的? 以下這五個特性將是妳所需要注意的重點!
By Mina Azodi
You get butterflies when you see him, your heart pounds if he calls, and kissing him literally causes goose bumps. With chemistry this amazing, you'd figure you're destined to be together.
當妳見到他時,整個人就像蝴蝶一樣想翩翩飛舞. 如果他打電話給妳, 妳的心跳就馬上加速. 當妳親吻他時,全身就會起雞皮疙瘩. 這樣美妙的化學作用,使妳感覺你們是命中注定的一對.
As it turns out, not necessarily. "We often mistake a strong physical connection as a sign that two people are meant for each other," says Paul Dobransky, MD, founder of womenshappiness.com.
那不一定是絕對的! "我們常常會將明顯的生理反應誤以為是彼此契合的表現"
Yes, chemistry is key to a lasting bond, but it isn't the final word. Other factors should be considered too, and they take some sussing out. New findings describe the characteristics in a guy that actually predict relationship success, some of which you may be overlooking.
是的,化學作用是交往的關鍵, 但它並不是最終的考量. 還有許多因素是需要被參考的, 而且它們需要被例出來. 最新研究顯示,有些關於男性的特點對戀情的成功有重要的影響.
1. He Knows What He Wants (他知道他想要的是什麼)
Any guy you're serious about should be able to articulate his long-term goals and passions (sorry, fantasy football and Xbox don't count). He can't ally himself with you until he has a sense of how he envisions his life in the future ... and how you fit in. "If a man has no idea what he wants to be when he 'grows up,' then it will be impossible for him to commit to you," says Dobransky.
任何一個讓你想認真付出的男人應該要有一些長久的目標和喜好. 他不該一邊跟妳交往才一邊在那慢慢的尋找他想要生活方適與目標, 接著希望妳為了他的夢想而犧牲. "如果他連自己想要什麼或做什麼都不知道的話, 不能期待他能對你做出什麼承諾".
千萬別以為他將能把問題解決,因為也許當他真的找到了他所想要的, 或許妳才發現那與妳的理想不同!
小心兩人結婚後才發現彼此個性與目標都不合而再來去離婚.
Don't assume he'll work things out, because when he does, you may realize his ambitions don't mesh with yours. "This mistake has contributed to the starter-marriage phenomenon, in which couples in their 20s and 30s suddenly realize they're going in different directions and divorce at an early age," says Dobransky. "It's preventable as long as you're both clear about your plans."
2. He Has a Sunny Outlook (他擁有陽光一面)
A recent study led by the University of Oregon found that women who had upbeat partners felt more satisfied in their relationships and — this is huge — that the man's level of optimism determined the relationship's staying power. Not only is it nice to have someone help you see the silver lining of a situation that totally sucks, but cheerful guys are good at keeping things in perspective, so they don't let little conflicts get to them and can go with the flow.
最新的一個研究顯發現,擁有開朗交往對象的女性對魚她們的戀情感到比較滿意. 男人的樂觀程度能決定一段感情關係的維繫.
樂觀的人也會讓彼此都活的開心與輕鬆些, 也能讓矛盾與糾紛順利的化解. 除了樂觀的個性以外, 男人的幽默感也是很重要的!
他需要能逗妳笑.
Along with having an optimistic POV, it's also crucial that the guy you're seeing can make you laugh. "It's an important stress valve for any couple," says Les Parrott, PhD, coauthor of Trading Places.
"Having a sense of humor helps you weather the rough patches that you'll inevitably encounter together." It shows that he is able to let loose and doesn't take things too seriously. Plus, you'll have a better time together if you can see the funny side of things.
3. He's Open to Changing for You (他不排斥為了妳而做出改變)
It's true you may not be able to change a man, but a guy should want to change for you. If a facet of his behavior irks you (for example, maybe he's not attentive enough in certain circumstances), he should be game to hear you out, listen to how you'd like him to do things differently, and then act on those suggestions. "When a guy is truly in love, he is more self-reflective and will work on the aspects of himself that bother you," says Diana Kirschner, Ph.D., author of Love in 90 Days. "Studies have found that successful married couples change each other quite a bit over time."
這是事實, 妳也許無法改變一個人,但一個好男人應該會想要為了妳而做改變. 如果他的有些習慣/做法讓妳抓狂, 也許他並沒有努力去做調適. "當他真的愛上妳時, 他會盡己所能的不要做出讓妳不舒服的事. 許多研究顯示,大多婚姻美滿的夫妻都層為彼此慢慢的在做許多的改變."
更重要的是,一個男人需要擁有那容量與肚量去與妳一起成長和脫變.
More important, a man needs to have the capacity to transform and grow with you — e.g., he takes an interest in going to art galleries with you, even if he's more of a couch-and-ESPN kind of guy. "If he's not willing to expand his interests to mesh with yours, you're going to outpace him," explains Kirschner. "It's likely you'll grow restless, and the relationship will become stale."
4. He's Still a Little Mysterious (他還是帶有些神秘感)
The beginning of a relationship is always superexciting because you're just getting to know each other. But even after the newness wears off, it's essential that a man keeps you guessing. "If you can never quite pin down what makes him tick, that's actually a healthy thing," says Kirschner. Although at first you might feel more bonded to a guy who shares tons of personal info with you, over time, you risk losing the intrigue that pulled you to him initially. You might start to see him as more of a friend than a romantic partner.
當開始交往時,彼此都還在摸索著對方, 會感到很興奮與新鮮. 但就算熱戀期已過了, 男人還是該保持著一些神秘感, 這樣彼此才不會對彼此失去興趣. 當然, 基本的信任與相知還是必要的, 只是不用對每件事的細節太過追根究底!
Of course, you want him to open up about topics like his family, but he should keep some boundaries too. Relating every detail of his life (think updates on his nasty toe fungus) is relationship-killing TMI. A good gauge in the early stages of coupledom: He doesn't spill all about his pals. "It's an indicator that he understands how to keep things private," says Kirschner.
5. He's Responsible with Money (他對錢有條理/有責任感)
Besides giving you a heads-up about money-related conflicts you might encounter in the future (one of the topics long-term couples argue about most), how a guy handles cash reveals a lot about his character. Positive signs: He keeps the receipt after paying for a meal or you notice several credit-card offers in his stack of mail (it may indicate he has good credit).
他不會亂花錢, 亂刷卡, 買東西或付錢會留下發票並對錢的使用上有計畫和規範.
"A man who doesn't track his money shows a lack of patience and self-control," says Dobransky. "In fact, guys who are financially reckless share many traits with men who cheat." But you also don't want to be with a tightwad. If a dude doesn't splurge now and then, it may mean he'll be stingy in other ways, such as in bed or when compromising during a fight. |
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